Your Security Certificate Has Expired

I couldn't get gmail to work on my computer this afternoon. Firefox kept telling me the site wasn't secure. Baloney! I uninstalled Firefox and tried again, just in case something had gotten buggy.

It still didn't work! Even with a fresh, newly down-loaded version of Firefox.

My husband came over to help. In the "Untrusted Connection" window, he clicked on the technical details. Here's what it told us:

www.google.com uses an invalid security certificate.
The certificate expired on 3/27/2010 3:20 PM.

"Expired in 2010? It hasn't expired yet! What's it talking about?" I asked.
My husband suggested, "Looks like we have a problem with the computer's internal clock."
"Oh!" I moaned and buried my face in my hands. "That's it! I set the date to June 2086! That's when my book happens, and I wanted to know what dates went with what days of the week."

So if I didn't answer your e-mail today, it's only because I left my computer 77 years in the future.

Earthcrosser Update

A lot of people ask me how the book is coming. My answer - coming along slow! It is now six weeks since I got the letter from the editor saying she'd read it again if I revised. I'm only half-way through the manuscript, and I'll want to go through it a full two times before I send it back. This time, I'm going to get it right. I have a feeling that this can be a really great book, and I'm willing to put in the work to get it there.

But right now my children are on track-break, and I'm settling in to my new calling as Primary President, and so I'm letting Earthcrosser move slow. A little bit every day. I'm still making progress. I'll get there.

If I Wasn't a Writer...

If I quit writing I could take my son to the park for two hours every day.

One year until Kindergarten. Maybe I should take a break.

Doin' the Numbers

Today I learned that the tap water in my town has an average of 325 mg/l of calcium carbonate in the water. That means if I drink two liters of water every day, I'll get 60% of my recommended daily calcium intake! FROM THE WATER!

Mooooove over, Bessie!

Last night I got mad when I found out how much my husband's new health benefits package from his new job is going to cost us every month. Then I dug out all our dental bills from last year and tallied them up.

Huh.

That health plan, well, they ain't gonna be making any money on us.

Take Your Medicine

Allergy season is here! Loratadine works well for me, when I take it. This morning I felt good. I felt fine. I thought, "I don't need my allergy pill today."

By noon I'm sneezing and sitting on my hands to keep from rubbing my eyes.

Silly me.

I changed my mind and took my medicine.

Is That Your Bird In There?

My four-year-old had a friend over to play this afternoon. As her mom and I were chatting, the little girl came over and asked me, pointing to the fireplace, "Is that your bird in there?"

Both of my pet birds were safe in their cages. I gave the little girl an indulgent smile, "What bird?"

She pointed at the fireplace again. I tried to see what it was that might look like a bird to her. The huge terra-cotta pot packed with dried coriander stems? No. The logs in the fireplace?

I peered into the darkness behind the smoke-stained glass. Something blinked at me.

"There's a pigeon in there!"

A gorgeous, green, purple, and grey bird perched on top of the logs, cool as anything--like he owned the place. He must have flown down the chimney. It was so dark in there I never would have seen him if my son's little friend hadn't pointed him out.

After I took a picture, I went out to the garage to get a pair of gloves. I thought catching the bird would be easy. The fireplace was small, the pigeon looked calm, and I have a way with birds. "Hey, baby, it's okay, I'm going to take you outside now," I cooed as I pulled aside the metal screen.

The pigeon did not know what was good for him. He flapped around the fireplace, sending clouds of stinging ash into my face. I tried to do it gracefully at first, but after a while I just grabbed at whatever presented itself - feet, tail feathers, wings. At last I got a grip on something, then took him between my hands and pulled him out into the room. He kept his wings spread--beautiful feathers! I could feel his heart beating fast.

I carried him out the back door, opened my hands, and let him fly away. It's a good thing someone noticed him - he was in serious danger of starving to death before anyone saw him. Now I just have to clean up all the ash on the carpet.

The Mystery of the Mysteriously Disappearing Tomato Plant

I planted my fall garden yesterday with six rows of cool-weather vegetables and four tomato plants. This morning when I went out to water...

ONE TOMATO PLANT WAS GONE! Gone without a trace. I know there was a tomato plant there yesterday! This must be the work of a dastardly cutworm. Where's the bug spray?